For some time now, I've been convincing myself that I really want to be a "better person." The big question is though; What exactly does it mean to be a better person? I think the most acurate answer is...that depends on who you ask! Lol.
Just so we're perfectly clear, I'm not here to give advice. In fact, I should probably be he last person you seek for advice. The wake of my life is sufficiently marred with enough mistakes to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm just trying to figure it out as I move along. As you will learn in the future by my writing trends, I'm just thinking out loud here. It helps sometimes when you hear yourself say things......
But seriously; I'm thinking that step one would be in knowing who I am. Who am I, and what do I want, need and expect in my life. That's it. Challenge one in figuring it out: humans! (I blame everything on humans.) Everyone (and they mammas) has an opinion on what is acceptable and unacceptable about everything under the sun. Everyone (and they mammas) has a story to tell about when, where, why and how their life is a testimony to overcoming adversity. Many times I've sat and listened and I realize...allot of these people don't even have 'real people' problems! They have stupid people problems - or vain people problems - or greedy people problems - or stupid people problems! How will I ever figure me out by listening to other people's failing self help advice? I can't.
The true self is the spirit that lives in the heart of the individual. It is developed in thought and portrayed through word and action. Therefore, whereby my circumstance may very well be similar to that of many others, I am not at all, like anyone else.
What do I want?...Well I've thought about it and I can say honestly that I value very simple tings. All I want, is to wake up in the morning and know that wherever my life is headed my daughters (two of them) can safely follow. All I need, is to know that for all the opportunities I've had and lost or never had in my life, I can build just a few more bridges for them. I expect that sometimes I'll win, and sometimes I'll loose. But that's what's at the heart of a better me.☻
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