As I journey into introspection..."When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are then challenged to change ourselves."


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Greyish-Golden Rule

Location: Nassau, The Bahamas
In conversation a young man said to me recently, "Chivalry is not dead. I believe in being a gentleman..." Before I could reply he added "...I'm just not a gentleman to people who don't deserve it."

I love the irony of 'shades of grey'...they supply the perfect justification to be convicted by absolutely nothing!

Remember the golden rule? It advises; "Do unto others that which you would have done to you."  
Dieu, la Loi, et le Roi - Via Wikipedia 

People rarely treat us the way we like to be treated but that does not say that the proper way to treat others is the way they treat us. By virtue of humility, we continue to treat others the way we would like to be treated regardless of the way we are treated in return.  We are all just human.  As such, none are perfect. Who is any man to say that a woman, by any reasoning he may find, does not deserve chivalry? Even still, right is right, wrong is wrong, and when it comes to morale, there is no such thing as a lesser of two evils.  If you are a gentleman--
be a gentleman.  That's it.  There is no in between. 

As such and in my humbled opinion; it's not straight-forwardly about being a gentleman; its about having respect for others and having the conviction to stand for something.  
Regarding a person with respect does not guarantee us respect in return but it does define our character (not to be confused with one's reputation).  And yes, sometimes we do hasten to decisions and in the process of doing so, we make mistakes.  But there is a difference in absently holding another person to our own standards--which is something most humans are guilty of--and knowingly condemning another person to lesser value.  We live in a culture where 'judging' and labeling others is somehow acceptable when realistically, when asked to define virtue, the average person cannot. Our tendencies are to draw lines...then re-draw lines...then draw other lines...then erase all the lines until we are no longer able to define our own boundaries.  Still yet we have the audacity to measure others?  But by what standard?

I like to think that where a person comes from in life plays a major part in who they are. Everyone of us have already come from somewhere.  Where we are going beyond this very moment is a far more important measure.  Many of us  will go nowhere.  We will remain stuck in the muddy shades of grey because we loose sight of the black and white.  Or worst yet, many of us will choose to focus on the the grey, wholly justifying our choice by virtue of freedom.  We do indeed live in a time of freedom. We are free to choose to use our freedom as reasoning to disregard another persons worth.  Or free to choose to use our freedom to demonstrate our own self worth.  

When all is said and done; I suppose it always boils down to what we value most as individuals.  Every shade of grey has a lighter or a darker shade.  No doubt, each of us will always be judged by other people's measures.  But should we live as well by other peoples measures?

Bottom line:  Whatever or whomever you are - be so with conviction. 

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