Happy Holiday

Here's to wishing all those who celebrate in the Christmas holiday; a very happy and prosperous holiday!

Here's to those who do not celebrate in the Christmas holiday; may the warmth and cheer of the season fill you none the less!

Here's to those who hold sacred, the birth of The Christ; may his spirit be with you as he fills your lives!

May we all have the heart to love and the words to care, regardless of our belief.

May we remember to be our brother's keeper

and may we learn together that compassion has no season.

May we learn together, to give of ourselves while asking nothing in return

so that we may better understand selflessness.

May we learn to see the humor in all the silly things around us.

But more importantly, may we learn to laugh at ourselves.

And may we continue to defend those who cannot defend themselves.

If you move by faith, be blessed.

If you move by fate, good luck.

If you march to your own drum, be safe.

May your hearts overflow like your glasses as you celebrate!

May your home be stuffed like your turkey!

And may your memories be as sweet as your cookies!

Happy Holiday to all!

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MY PERFECT PERFECT

Signage for perfect

No one's perfect.  But why not try to be?

To be flawed in theory means that we possess characteristics that prevent perfection.  Perfection, theoretically, is to exist without flaw. And, again theoretically, we are all imperfect because we are
human.  Theoretically.  Realistically, however, we are imperfect because we do not strive for perfection.  We don't strive for it because, for the most part, we believe that no person should be or is capable of becoming perfect.

The fact that we are able to recognize our flaws shows that we are aware of our perfect selves. But defining perfection may be a more complicated problem.  Most of us live by some standard of morality - it may be religious, political, spiritual, scientific or some other cosmopolitan view.  Our personal convictions, more often than not, also often matches that of other individuals in our communities.  While community mindedness has it's usefulness in personal development, when it comes to making conscious decisions, it has the potential to become self destructive.  What I may view as perfect, others may beg to differ.  And with so many definitions of standards, morality and perfection to start with, whose ideologies can be trusted?  So in a sense, when we adopt the principal that 'no one is perfect,' what we are really doing, is refusing to give effort.

My perfect, is effort.

Conditioning the mind to believe that it is acceptable to be imperfect is the same as conditioning the mind to believe that perfection is unacceptable.

Why do we like to shy away from perfection? For the most part, fear, shame and the fear of being shamed.  Or in other words...we lack conviction.  Fear causes us to hide our core desires when we are certain that our communities will not accept them. Shame happens when we recognize that our actions were unacceptable - not by someone else's standard, but by our own standards. Generally, anything that is deemed unacceptable is shamed.  We are harsher judges of ourselves than we are of other people.  So the only thing that really keeps us from perfection, is ourselves.

Ironically; the first step in changing anything is changing the way we think about it and admittedly; it is rather daunting to think of changing the way we think of things that we hardly ever think of to start with.  Personally, I like to start with a question.

Question is: What does perfect really mean to you?

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought.

The mind is everything.

What we think, we become."

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FINDING BALANCE

"…a disposition to behave in the right manner and as a mean between extremes of deficiency and excess, which are vices…" ~ Official definition of Aristotle's theory of virtue

[Musings]

We find that the purpose of desire is to find fulfilment.  

If greed is a vice, then how could pleasure be called a virtue?  

And the sacchariferous climax of fulfillment—however brief, however fleeting—can also be easily mistaken for happiness.  So what is virtue?

There is an absolute power, above that of human existence.  Whether it is a god or anything else; our existence pivots at this median.  

It is a point that we can neither reach nor change because its purpose is balance and therefore,   it must remain constant.  
For the need of pleasure and fulfilment, we cannot judge ourselves...
because we will not know how to find the balance between the virtue and the vice.

MY WEIGHT IN GOLD

This morning, a feature at MSN.com is HOW TV SHOWS HIDE STAR PREGNANCIES. 

As I scroll through the article, I am humored not only by some of the gimmicks but also by the fact that with certain shows; like Sex In The City, Friends and Seinfeld; I’ve actually been a fan long enough to remember the times when the leading ladies were preggers. 

Kerry Washington "Scandal"

Sarah Jessica Parker "Sex in the City"

But alas, as it often does, my mind began to wonder toward past experiences and—of course—extraneous circumstance…

The women that were featured in this particular article are all well know and well liked and although in many instances their pregnancies did not fit their ‘character’, they were none the less embraced by their adoring fans.  But for the average professional woman, it rarely works that way.  In terms of our careers, pregnancies are often viewed as unsavory set backs—particularly the maternity leave period.  Our dependability and efficiency are automatically questioned.  And pregnancy, in allot of cases becomes a scapegoat for not performing at our optimum.  But if multimillion dollar studios can work around a pregnancy; for an employee whose performance is 100% about being visible; what separates these women from the average woman? 

THE SNAKE

Sitting under a tree, deep in thought on a quiet morning, I heard a rustling noise above me.  I’m accustomed to birds playing in the tree so I paid it no mind.  Much to my surprise, moments later, something falls out of the tree onto my back.  I hear it land onto the wooden bench with a ‘thud.’  I jumped up—startled—and turned around expecting to see an injured bird.  Much to my surprise, and horror, I found instead a snake!

Now, not to be misleading, there are no poisonous snake species currently known in The Bahamas.  The snake was a racer.  Racers eat lizards, frogs, mice, other insects or even smaller snake species.  They are commonly referred to locally as garden snakes, because it’s not uncommon to find them hiding among leafy, low laying plants; particularly during the spring and summer months.

None the less; I’ve never been fond of nor fascinated with snakes and I was sufficiently frightened.  Apparently, so was the usually docile, two foot critter; as he opened his toothless jaws to hiss his warnings at me!  I didn’t dare move.  After a moments’ long stare-down, he dropped to his belly and slithered away.  It took me another moment or two to compose myself.  And I had to move away from the grassy area in an attempt to gather my sanity.

I ASKED GOD...

I asked God for the strength to face the adversities in my life—He supplied me with more adversities because I am not yet as strong as I can be.

I asked God for the courage to face the challenges in my life—He supplied me with more challenges because I am not yet as brave as I can be.

I asked God to give me the faith to always believe that He alone can save me—He gave me the wisdom to know that there are times when I must save myself.

I asked God to teach me the value of every moment and every breath—He called away those whom I have loved.

I asked God for someone to talk to—He sent me no one, so that I may learn to speak with Him.

I asked God to carry me through my hard times—He reminded me of where I’ve come from then showed me again where I am now.

I cried to God to please lift my burdens—He did not.

And I remembered that God will never put more on me than I can bear.

And so I rejoice—even in sorrow—because I know now that where there is darkness, there can be light.   

Psalms 46:1

God is my refuge and my strength, a very present help in the time of trouble.

#TGFL

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DRUNK IN WHAT? (Mild language)

Perspective…as in: What you sippin on?

Perspective is a very serious thing.  In order to maintain balance in a healthy mind, we need to understand how to weigh perspective.

‘Popular culture’ is not really my stick.  Even still, in a recent forum I almost got tricked into defending (gasps) Beyonce.  Loll.  I’m not even a fan of hers…anymore.  But here was this guy, making the most uncalled for and unnecessarily derogatory comments to the point that I actually felt insulted as a woman and a mother to be in his virtual presence.  I have a hard time deciding whether or not people honestly believe that the media is the primary source of moral decay in our society.  Personally, I believe that humankind is the cause for the moral decay of society.  In my view, it doesn’t matter what band wagon you jump on…a band wagon is a band wagon.  And the fact that you have to wait for someone else to form an opinion (i.e. a band wagon) before you decide to have one is of no greater value than not having an opinion at all.  I believe that when a person stands up for something, at the very least, we should try to make sense of our conviction. 

Now, about Beyonce’s last album; yes, it was nasty as hell.  Yes, the messages she convey with her lyrics as well as in her videos, as a matter of principal, are inappropriate for a respectable lady, wife and mother to publicize.  Of course, that’s argumentative depending upon one’s personal perspective of respectability.  But at the end of the day, the woman is an entertainer…she’s out there trying to make some money.  It doesn't matter if she's wrong or right; sex sells.  The odd thing about consumerism is that you can’t force a person to buy something that they’re not willing to pay for.   Some people are slaves to popular culture while others are intent on being slaves to opposing popular culture.  There's no such truth as a lesser of two evils.

The Wise Seek Peace

The wise seek peace.

The wealthy seek riches.

The poor seek favor.

The desperate seek hope.

And for as far as humankind cannot purge himself of humanity;

They seek forth in selfishness.

The wise and the wealthy,

They inveigle the poor and the desperate to fight their wars.

The wise will say to the desperate;

‘There is a time for everything, now is the time for war!’

While the wealthy will say to the poor;

‘We must fight for what we want, now is the time for war!’

And for as far as the heart of a worrier cannot purge itself of courage;

They set out for war in selfishness.

In battle, entwined, each with the other;

Each one fails to find himself.

And behold the poor, who has become a poor fool at war;

The desperate becomes his animal.

While the wise hide cowardly from their own chaos

The wealthy scourge, as pigs do, for gold in their filth.

And for as far as war itself is darkness;

Not one will find peace in the other.

No kind words will either speak

No sword will yield for strong nor weak

And when each converge on sorrow’s peek

Fixed in war they steady keep

Without the servile ways of peace

That which was sewn will then be reaped

And when no one stands to set them free

Their foolish ways they then repeat.

The wise seek peace.

The wealthy seek riches.

The poor seek favor.

The desperate seek hope.

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The Ambivalence of Truth & Reality

...As told ambiguously by an optimistic hermit of pessimisms... 

Conventional wisdom teaches us that we don’t have to make our own mistakes to learn.  Every waking moment is an opportunity to absorb someone else’s disarticulations, miscalculations, misjudgments or miscalculated lack of articulated judgment.  And yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to learn from other people’s mistakes…unless of course…

”You think you’re better than others”…? 

I take it with good humor, that people use this expression so frequently.  Whether they use it correctly or not; is an entirely different subject.

Our most humanly and incredulous nature leads us to believe that our biggest critics (aka. my haters—another subject on its own) will never know what it’s like ‘to walk a mile in my shoes.’  Meaning, that they will never understand the challenges I face. 

Letting Go of 2013

As the journey of a new year begins, I take the time to reflect on my past; the things I’ve lost, and the things I’ve gained.  Moving forward, it is my hope that both will lead me ultimately to where I want to be…despite the fact that I am not able to thoroughly define where that place is at this time.

Nearly two years ago, in February of 2011, I made a choice to become a better person.  Not for myself, but for my children.  I am a single mother, who was raised by a poor single mother, who was also born to a poor single mother.  I am not proud of my heritage.  Therefore, I do not wish the same for my daughters.  They say that this life I live is an endless cycle but I am determined to break this cycle so that my daughters may have an opportunity to start a new one.  And so, I have embarked on a journey of introspection, focusing on meditation and philosophy, to help me to better understand how I may achieve my goal.

What's In A Smile?

Every morning I wake up, I remind myself that today is a new day, filled with new possibilities and promises!  I look in the mirror and I tell myself to smile.  I tell myself that no matter how rough the day gets, a positive outlook will see me through!  I remind myself to do my darnedest to treat others the way I want to be treated.  And smile…that’s important to me.  Few things trump a warm sincere smile.

True story:  Some mornings, I stop at this little spot for breakfast on my way to work.  This morning as I stood in line--humming along to Bill Withers' Lovely Day (I listen to that song EVERY MORNING)--I watched as the gentleman ahead of me rushed out of the store as if he was 'the last late person,' nearly knocking over the customer who was coming in.  Per chance, as he turned to apologize, he looked at me, smiled and exited.  It seemed a tad unusual to me at the moment because I had noted, somewhat with lassitude, that the hurried state he had been in made it seemingly unlikely that he would notice anything/anyone else around him.

As I left the store, however, the same man was standing next to his car

The Greyish-Golden Rule

In conversation a young man said to me recently, "Chivalry is not dead. I believe in being a gentleman..." Before I could reply he added "...I'm just not a gentleman to people who don't deserve it."

I love the irony of 'shades of grey'...they supply the perfect justification to be convicted by absolutely nothing!

Remember the golden rule? It advises; "Do unto others that which you would have done to you."  

Dieu, la Loi, et le Roi - Via Wikipedia 

People rarely treat us the way we like to be treated but that does not say that the proper way to treat others is the way they treat us. By virtue of humility, we continue to treat others the way we would like to be treated regardless of the way we are treated in return.  We are all just human.  As such, none are perfect. Who is any man to say that a woman, by any reasoning he may find, does not deserve chivalry? Even still, right is right, wrong is wrong, and when it comes to morale, there is no such thing as a lesser of two evils.  If you are a gentleman--

Beauty

Beau·ty  

/’byo-otē/

Noun: 1.     A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight. 2.     A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense.

Synonyms

loveliness - belle - pulchritude - fairness - prettiness

Totally random google searches led to totally random thoughts this morning:

Is beauty overrated?  By definition and in lieu of the fact that every individual’s intellect and moral senses