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As I journey into introspection..."When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are then challenged to change ourselves."

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Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Letting go of 2015



Nevy Dames - Letting Go of 2015 - Letting Go of Gone
Sometimes it's necessary to take a step back in order to move forward. As time rolls on, it's important to know that no matter where we are, we've come from some place else.

I will also be taking these valuable lessons into 2016...

1) Don't get caught up in things that don't matter and especially with things that will not likely ever matter. Like another person's choice of words, for example. Many times, when we argue with others, we are arguing the same principle from different perspectives using different words or different experiences. Therefore, many times when we argue, we do so redundantly. It is important to be mindful of this because being understood naturally comes with a certain level of comfort. So if we misunderstand when we are being understood, we cause ourselves unnecessary grief. Understand? Lol.

2) Wait to be asked for personal advice. Often times, when a person is going through a particular situation - especially if it is something we've already conquered on our own journey - it is easy to fall into giving advice without being asked. This can cause resentment at worst and a useless prattling at best. It's better to allow individuals to grow at their own pace. Because that's the only pace that each of us can grow at. This is particularly hard to accept when someone we care about is in the habit of engaging in reckless behavior that can cause harm to themselves or the people around them. While it is perfectly acceptable to be a deterrent in such cases when the occasion calls for it, it is also important to accept that that person will not change until the time comes in their life when they are ready for change. There's no way around that. Good advice on deaf ears is nothing more than useless advice.

3) Be silent, be still. Maya Angelou's infamous last tweet was; "Listen to yourself. And in that quietude you might hear the voice of God."

4) Don't be afraid to face failure. This is something I struggle with. But I spend a tremendous amount of time meditating on it still. It plays into our nature of personal accountability. Most of us have dreams, goals and aspirations. And sometimes, we fail to meet deadlines. That's life. Missing a deadline is a tough pill to swallow but it's not the end of the world. We can't let go of something that we refuse to accept.

5) Don't wait for what's done in the dark to come to light. Take control of the shadows.

6) We receive unto ourselves as we are. February of 2016 will make 5 years that I've been on my personal journey of introspection. One life lesson that I'm working on embracing - that I will perhaps spend the remainder of my existence here on earth accepting - is that I alone am responsible for my existence. The circumstances surrounding my existence and the consequences of all of my actions are my sole responsibility. I often speak of personal accountability, and day by day I am learning that it can be deeper and more controversial than simply said. Its very tempting, possibly because it is sometimes easy, to pass the blame of negative things to others. But when all is said and done, we have the freedom to choose. Choice is a very powerful entitlement. Everything we are and everything we do begins with a choice including how we play the hand we're dealt in life.

Life hasn't gotten any easier or simpler these past few years. And I'm learning more day by day that easier and better are two different things. Somedays, looking inside myself is a struggle. And I sometimes wonder if the time will I ever come when I don't cringe at some things I find there. But that's fine. There are things that appear to not have evolved and there are also things that appear to have vanished completely. And as I reflect on time, I realise--that without having realised--the caos that was once inside of me, became peace.

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